Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Tragedy

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.”
-Oscar Wilde
There I stood on stage, exuberantly bright colored clothing, large, light-fixture sized earrings, necklaces, bracelets, massive rings on my fingers.... and one abandoned curler wrapped up in the back of my hair. I fumbled through my giant purse for framed photos of my children and grandchildren to show the audience, who by this time were laughing their butts off because they knew exactly who I was. "Anyone want a burned compilation cd? I call it my Summer Mix.... ok I will make you one!"
Yes, I was roasting my mother in front of over 100 people. I was cracking myself up. But as it turns out... she's got the last laugh. My wardrobe screams hippie chic, I have piles of mix cds around my house, I can't get enough of photography and I don't think you would ever find me with out chandeliers hanging on both sides of my head. I can never seem to remember what time my next appt is, where my keys are, or where I put that damn $200 deposit! There it is... my greatest tragedy... I am becoming the woman who hears her cell phone ringing and scrambles through her purse to find it only to realize it’s in her bra.

The truth is, the only tragedy is that I am not more like this incredible woman. Strong, deep-rooted, full of soul, shining spirit, a contagious laugh and an ability to truly lay her entire life down for the better of others. Throughout the years my mom and I have had our beefs. We are a lot a like and I am not nearly as self-controlled or poised as she... So, we can get a little fired up! But, as I have gotten older it has become clearer and clearer to me that my mother sacrificed so much to make me happy. She would give me anything! As I watch her with her grandchildren I see it even more! She is such a nurturer. Every night she tucked me in, tickled my back and sang me to sleep. She frequented all the best field trips, she came up with all the best costumes, she taught me what music was, and she took me around the world! She changes the lives of people around the world doing missions and spreading God's love.

One of my best memories of time spent together was shortly after my mom's mother died. We took a trip to Newport, Rhode Island.... A place like I've never been. We spent time talking about all the wonderful things about my grandma... but we also spent late nights out together listening to blues. We frequented shops, went sailing, buzzed around on scooters and toured mansions. The beach was fantastic.... we even made it up to P-TOWN and became a float in the gay parade! ;) The trip was one of the best times of my life.

I love my mom for her style, sense of humor, sarcasm and wit, beauty and love.
Happy birthday and I couldn't think of anything less tragic than if I ended up like her!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Comfortably numb?

Have you ever let time crawl past you and realized you have made it to a new place without even trying?

You go about your daily business and time passes. You get through the really annoying stuff - like flat tires and Tupperware parties. These mundane weeks are seasoned with some special moments of late night laughter and dinners with a best friend. There are loud and fun weekends... full of surprises and stories for later. But many nights are spent quiet and completely lonely. Days when you bum around your house in your sweats(not that I have any) until it's 3:00pm and you realize that you haven't even opened your mouth to speak... NOT ONCE. I spent quite a few nights depressed in the year behind me. Laying in bed staring out a frigid window at an empty parking lot. The only thing louder than your heartache pounding in your ears are the sounds of winter weather outside your bedroom window.

And then one day... you're somewhere different. Somewhere... that isn't the deep dark hole you crawled in after a devastating loss. Somewhere that doesn't hurt as much. Somewhere comfortable. But you don't feel amazing or fantastic. You don't feel utter happiness or perfect peace. YET. Relaxed perhaps... Things are ok. Daylight seems a little brighter. And that big sweaty muscle in your chest doesn't feel quite as heavy. The routine of life has pulled you through. Time was once your enemy... but now, you and time are ok. You've found yourself in a new place. Until life happens, you notice that you feel indifferent. You stop and question, "Shouldn't I feel something? Shouldn't that feel good, or shouldn't that one sting a bit." Maybe I'm numb? Maybe, I'm comfortably numb? Is that ok? As someone who categorizes herself as a passionate person... comfortably numb seems like the biggest sell-out of them all. But maybe this is how the passionate cope.

My deep roots tell me that this is just a phase, a time of healing, a time to get closer to my maker... Psalms 55:22. Perhaps that's what it takes... One foot in front of the other. A deep appreciation and gratitude for all you have… For all the wonderful people and support you have been given. And for all the love you have in your life… and Time... Healing... Maybe I will wake up one day, and be somewhere different. My heart will be overwhelmed with that sense of happiness and fulfillment without even trying.

Let the birds land where they may.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

WICKED PORTRAIT PARTY

Please check out the frames from my very own Wicked Portrait Party... FIRST EVER!
A night devoted to hair, make-up, fashion and wicked portraits! Hair by Alyssa Davis and Stacy Buck. Make-up by Sally Benson and Ashley Nelson. Wicked Portraits by A. Capra Production. Prints and Photo Gifts by Imprevio Studios.


The Portraits

Behind the scenes


Interested in booking a Wicked Portrait Party for you and your friends. Contact me at capraproductions@gmail.com

Wicked!
-Ali

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hot ~ Hot~ Hot!



Ok, I am obsessed with spicy stuff!
If you know me... then you know I go through a container of red pepper flakes a week.
I love the way it makes your lips burn ever so mightly, the tongue tingles... and the nose starts a RUNNIN!
Thai food, oh yes! Please. Hot! Indian food, even better... HOT!
Anyone who loves firey food knows there are different kinds of hot.
For Instance, Wasabi hot is different than red pepper flake hot.
Recently I came across a local Kansas City company that offers some hot~hot products.
Original Juan Specialty foods.
Love!
http://www.originaljuan.com/ I tried their Firery Popcorn.... just the right kind of hot!
Also, stop by and check out their "WHAT IS HOT?" PAGE... VERY INFORMATIVE!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Settling for the Stories They Told You - An Excerpt


An excerpt from my upcoming book:
Settling for the Stories They Told You
Why are we protecting principles over people? Why can’t we teach principles without basting them with FEAR? Why are we afraid to let young people question the truth? If the truth is the truth… why are we so afraid that harboring pieces of doubt and question will make the truth crumble at its core...?
-Alison Capra

Monday, October 19, 2009

A Party to Remember

My favorite baby boy turned two! No longer a baby... :(
My nephew Joaquin had his party last Saturday. I wanted to share.


Looking through the pics, all I can think is... how glad I am that I didn't miss it. In a world of schedules, chaos an disappointments... Nothing is more special than getting away from it all and celebrating special occasions with people you love. Watching two-year-olds eat way toooo much candy, blow bubbles, and chase each other around the back yard until they pass out!


Mom and Dad, Joaquin confused about what is expected...?
But he's getting more excited by the moment!My brother Neil, and his little man with James the TrainJoaquin and his mom, Paola.Bubble Junkies.Joaquin and Lilly, do not disturb.Hunter, bubbles.Gabe with apple dippers.The girl with the green balloon.Joaquin, Tee Ball!
My girl Jo, my nephew's mom Paola, and Me!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Girl with the Red Balloon

Bright lights, new people, large moving machines.

Big stuffed animals, pink fluffy clouds, something from her dreams.


Dust on her sandals but she doesn’t care.

Her mama put purple bows in her hair.


Everyone is laughing and smiles are really big.

Songs are getting louder… her brother dances a jig.


Her little heart is pumping more with every step

So much about this night she hopes she won’t forget


The longest line she sees is the one for red balloons.

The thing she always wanted and never quite pursued.


She turns her big green eyes to daddy; he knows just what she wants.

Not even a word is spoken immediate response.


She waits and waits and waits in line for this new treat.

Tied to her hand, perfect apple red, looks good enough to eat.


All she can think about the rest of the night…

Protecting her new possession… impending fright!


I love my balloon; it is all that I desire

A night full of excitement, only IT lit my fire!


Clenching so tightly to the little white string…

All of these people, not sure what they’ll bring.


Each element proposes feelings of eminent doom.

“Even wind could take my perfect, red balloon!”


Fear swallows her once excited, childish heart.

Anxiety fills her up, every single part.


“I must find a way to keep my precious gift

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, I cannot ever let it drift”


Little hands climb up the string to pull it in her lap

Hugging it tightly to her chest her arms a little trap.


“I don’t ever want to lose you, you mean so much to me.

You’re mine forever and ever, I cannot set you free.”


With each twinge of fear her grip gets a little tighter.

No space between the two, suddenly something bites her…


A big loud noise, POP… her love affair is shattered.

SHE LOST HER RED BALLOON, THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERED!


Her daddy picks her up, “Baby, I’m so sorry that happened!”

Tears roll down her rosy cheeks, she is oh-so saddened


“Daddy, I just didn’t want to lose it… I loved it so very much!”

“Baby I must tell you something you may not fully touch…


The wind is not your enemy, its fear that you should hate.

It’s the one that stole your fun, the joy it would create.


Let’s get one more balloon but this time keep in mind,

Enjoying every moment is your only job this time.”


by Alison Capra

10-08-09